Friday, November 20, 2009

Fading in Comparison

It’s strange how much I fear telling you the way I feel. I shouldn’t be so apprehensive about what your reaction may or may not be. Truth be told though, it’s not you that has me so afraid. It’s her. You can’t possibly begin to understand how much it hurts, knowing that I will never mean as much to you as she did. It hurts to think that I will never be good enough to erase all of the bad memories she left behind. I wish I could say the things that are so hard to put into words. I want so badly to be able to express it all to you---to tell you what is on my mind. I want nothing more than for you to know that my heart skips a beat every time you look my way and that my pulse races when your fingers caress my skin. I wish you knew that when you smile, all of the terrible things that this world plays host to just seem to disappear, and your laugh never fails to brighten my day. My knees weaken drastically when you kiss me, and I still get butterflies when you walk into the room. It saddens me to know that you will never be aware of any of the wonderful effects you have on me because she’s made me so afraid. It breaks my heart to know that I will never compare to her.

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