Friday, January 22, 2010

Let Go

So long has it been, since I was last able to sleep soundly through the night. The nightmares that once haunted only my dreams have begun to plague me while I’m awake as well. I shudder with fear at the thought of having to begin anew. I’ve become so accustomed to the way things are. Though it was probably a mistake to familiarize myself with the state of things at all, I am unwilling to give it all up now. I rather enjoy the feeling of a warm touch and being able to smile with ease. I am judged for what I have done, and for that, I worry, I may end up losing all that I’ve worked so hard to gain.

Is it so difficult to look beyond the choices of my past? Are you blind to the possibilities of what I may do in the future? It’s unfair of you to burden me with the mistakes I've made. All I want is to close my eyes and forget. I want to wake from another of my restless sleeps to find the slate wiped clean. Is a fresh start so much to ask? I am so tired of looking about me, and seeing the laughing, uncaring faces floating past, unable to join them. I am so frustrated in my own skin. I long to break away from myself.

Please, let go of what was Yesterday, and look to now. Let me live!

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